Who am I?

Recently found this artist and I thought this cover that he did fit very well with this topic

One of the most difficult times in most peoples' lives is middle/high school. This time is when the pressure to fit in is at it's highest. We deal with peer pressure to listen to certain music, to dress or act a certain way, to things that can be harmful (drinking, smoking, even drug use). This is where self-presentation comes into play. Self-presentation is the process by which we try to alter the way people think of us and we think of ourselves (Shlenker, 2003) 

For instance, my freshman year of high school, I hung out with the "popular" kids, and I would dress a certain way, I listened to certain music and I drank when I was with them. I didn't like how I dressed and I certainly didn't like the music I was listening to or that I was drinking, but I felt that I had to do all of that to keep my "friends". I was practicing the self-presentation strategy of ingratiation (ingratiation (according to the textbook) is a term used to describe acts that are motivated by the desire to "get along" with others and be liked) It wasn't until late in my junior year that I finally realized that I didn't want those people as my "friends". I started to be more true to myself and soon became ostracized in the group and found a new group of friends to hang out with.

I had a friend who hung out with the skater kids so I soon started to hang with them. My group of friends had piercings, tattoos, and multi-colored hair and listened to rock and screamo and what not. And, while I didn't change how I looked (I was the "jock" who was hanging with the skaters and therefor got many MANY strange looks from people who saw us hanging out) part of me did change because I was hanging out with them. I started listening to the same types of music as they did (for example). Looking back on it now I realize I was unconsciously using ingratiation with this new group of friends and while it wasn't as bad as it was before, it still happened. 

Everyone at one point or another will feel the need to fit in, whether it be with friends, sports teams or work or wherever, it is going to happen good or bad. Sometimes ingratiation can be good, but it can also be bad and sometimes you even lose sight of who you truly are. Like the song says, stay true to yourself because there is nobody like you!

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Schlenker, B. R., & Wowra, S. A. (2003). Carryover effects of feeling socially transparent or impenetrable on strategic self-presentation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 871-880.