Here is a song a friend of mine showed me a while back that I feel fits perfectly with this post.
I am the daughter of a United States Soldier.
My father was in the Army for 23 years with four deployments
(Iraq from February 2003 to February 2004, January 2005 to January 2006, May 2007 to October 2007 and November 2008 to October 2009) and numerous Military Awards including four Army Commendation Medals, and seven Good Conduct Medals. I am and forever will be proud of my dad. Being an "Army Brat" is being part of a subculture that is hard to describe to those who were raised in a civilian household. Growing up, a lot of my self-concept came from my experiences as an "Army Brat". Self-concept is defined as the sum of a person's individual beliefs about their personal attributes; and my self-concept was deeply rooted in the Military.
(Iraq from February 2003 to February 2004, January 2005 to January 2006, May 2007 to October 2007 and November 2008 to October 2009) and numerous Military Awards including four Army Commendation Medals, and seven Good Conduct Medals. I am and forever will be proud of my dad. Being an "Army Brat" is being part of a subculture that is hard to describe to those who were raised in a civilian household. Growing up, a lot of my self-concept came from my experiences as an "Army Brat". Self-concept is defined as the sum of a person's individual beliefs about their personal attributes; and my self-concept was deeply rooted in the Military.
As an Army Brat there are many things about one's day to day life that civilian children would not understand, nor have they ever experienced. It was normal for my family to see people running around with assault rifles, having jets and helicopters fly around your house or even hearing the distinct popping of a gun while a unit was on the range. There would be signs in the more obscure parts of base saying "stay out, land mines" and we would just turn around and go about our day. Going to the movies is even different for military kids. At the beginning of each movie, the national anthem would play and everyone would stand up just like at sporting events. Schools would practice bomb evacuations regularly and at 5 o'clock, when the colors would retire, everyone would stop what they were doing (including getting out of their car) and stand (either saluting or with your hand on your heart) and watch as the flag was lowered.
Being a Military Kid also helped to shape who I was as a person. I was instilled with the 7 Army values Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage (LDRSHIP) and I address anyone older then me as sir or mam, I learned how to adapt to new situations and I gained a greater insight to the true cost of freedom.
But the events of June 16th, 2011 took part of my identity away from me. My father passed away in his sleep early that day (about 3am) and along with losing my father, I lost part of my identity, I was no longer an "Army Brat", I no longer had a parent who was in the Army, I was...a civilian kid. After the initial shock of the loss of my father, that reality began to sink in. I went through an identity crisis of sorts and while still grieving my father's death, I also was dealing with a loss a lot more personal, a loss of who I was.
Everyday since my father died, I have worn his dog tags, and while most of it is just to serve as a reminder of my father and the man he was and the years of service he gave to this country, it also serves as a reminder of who I am and the things that I have been through that remind me of who I am today. It took me a while but I began to realize that just because I no longer had that direct military connection, I still was an "Army Brat", that I am the person I am today because of it. Yes, I deal with things differently, and I look at things differently but I am the daughter of a military man and I am proud of that.
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Watanabe, H. K. (1985). A survey of adolescent military family members' self-image. Journal Of Youth And Adolescence, 14(2), 99-107. doi:10.1007/BF02098650
I can identify quite a bit with your experience as a “military brat” and the effect it is had on your self-concept. My dad was in the Air Force. I too recall how all the kids stopped playing as the National Anthem played, and how you would move a whole lot more than the other kids. I don’t know about you, but I kind of looked forward to the constant moving because it offered me an opportunity to “reinvent myself”. I would try to take up new things every time I moved, in hopes that I can be a little bit cooler. I think in a way, I would kind of change the way I saw myself and presented myself to others every time my dad was stationed somewhere new. Your post reminded me that the constant moving as an Air Force kid probably had a profound impact on my self-concept, just as your ties to your dad and the Army life shaped your identity as well.
ReplyDeleteYour father sounds like a great man. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s clear that he has played a huge part in who you are now. It’s always interesting to consider the ways in which others have shaped who we are, and your blog post reflects that perfectly.